Who am I?

Who am I? A question that I ask to myself nearly every day; but still didn’t find an admirable answer, an answer that satisfies me. Who makes me who I am really? Is it my name? My race? My blood? My flesh? My religion? My background? All those are things that many other people have it just the same as I do; so what is that special thing that truly defines me,and only me?

I need to start from the very beginning to know who I am. First of all, I am a human being and I have a brain; a biological engine that distinguishes me from other species, and from other humans. It is that brain with which I interpret things differently. But it’s not only that brain that takes control of making me who I am! There’s another component, an invisible component, which is my emotional side! Which most people symbolize it by “heart”.

So, here is it, BRAIN versus HEART; those two fight all the time, and I am the judge. The way I direct the battle shapes what we call a “personality”, my personality. When I was a kid I was a sensitive person with a high level of social anxiety, I preferred staying away of people and avoided interactions with my peers fearing there harmful reactions. I was controlled by emotions of fear, anxiety, and worry. But here I grew up and Mr. BRAIN took control, all those who know me now think that I am a sociable person. In fact, I am smart at hiding my social anxiety as well as my temperamental mood, even if it’s hardto keep nice to people those days.

Back to personality, diving into myself, I came up with some ideas about who I am. I am an open person , I love to try new things and to go through new experiences; but I also tend toward individualistic behavior and impractical thinking. I am an extrovert person who longs for social activities and interactions; but deep inside there is an introvert who likes to spend more time alone. I can be fully excited but easily switches from happy to sad. I am a thoughtful person with a very sympathetic character, interested, and concerned about others; but it’s again depending on my mood. I am a bit reserved regarding my self control, I may feel a bit conflected when i’m wronged; sometimes because it affects me deeply to the point of feeling victimized and other times because I fear upsetting the other person.. but I am trying to get rid of it, at least you can’t always be the nice person. I am a deamer; but find it hard to keep on long-term goals. 

And I am…I am, all these I and BuT; but still didn’t find what truly defines me. All what I mentioned before may change by time, I still didn’t find that pure unique thing about me that would never change no matter what happen..

I don’t really know who I am! I just am..